i do not have the time.. and i should not have.. we're spinning but i'm not running.. i am only a child before my Father.. and the world is my playground..

do not read me.. know me..

wonder what i'm chasing.. wonder when will it stop..i think i've found what i wanted sometimes..  what do i want? i don't even know.. when will i even show what really goes on in my mind..

i am unsatisfied..

coffee and tea i will not remember.. but the faces behind them i will never forget.. might get lost somewhere deep down in my heart.. but they will be there.. 851, delifrance, coffee bean

thanks for the tickets.. it was a great night.. simply because of the people to my left and my right.. and the freedom that i had to be myself.. without no guitar.. just to dance, a happy child before my Father.. and to stand, the three of us, as one.. it is a time to remember.. just like the sonicfest05 that we had together..

she told me, to always have faith in Jesus Christ.. and if i was in any trouble to just bow my head to pray and have faith and God will make it alright.. i just had to pray.. she asked if i understood.. she asked if i really understood..

i wish i could do more than just give one word replies.. seems like it's difficult where you are.. and i can see now that there are a lot of things you hold on to.. but i'm sorry that there really isn't much i can do.. because i would rather not get into the midst of it.. and have to take sides, both sides expecting me to take theirs.. i am sorry though.. for what i'm dragging you through.. i remember asking you.. and telling you too.. it was a bit disappointing to finally hear it.. because i thought i told you.. but t's good that you're telling me now.. i just hope that you don't find your happiness in it... because it is not there..

sometimes i don't know who i should trust.. it's a little messy when both sides tell me different stories and complicated when you start blaming each other.. that is why i do not want to get into the middle.. because i love the both of you very much.. and i don't wish to be dragged into your mess.. because you both will use me against each other.. and i do not want to be used to hurt either one of you..

thanks liang.. haha.. i'll remember this day for years and year.. it's like the stories i used to hear only from the pulpit..

i saw you just like you saw me.. so unsure of who we were.. familiar but faded into the back of each other's memory.. and our eyes locked.. and somehow it all came back.. funny how faces can be so unrecognisable when time passes.. but i'm glad that i just didn't walk past you to take a seat.. but we had the chance to talk.. didn't even see you during chinese new year.. i wonder how you feel.. and why you did not come.. i heard about somethings that happened between you and your sister and brother.. i wiish i could see you more than just once a year.. then you won't have to tell me about 'last times'.. and we won't have to cram years into minutes..

you did great.. you sound so much bigger on the track than you are in person.. reminds me so much of daniel and what liang said.. maybe that is the mark of a great musician..

it was thursday and i went to pick up photos from ave 2.. and as i was crossing the road it started to rain.. and like, at that particular crossing there are like four traffic light crossings that i have to use.. so i was caught at the second one when it started to pour heavily.. and this little student from acs barker walks up to me and sheltwrs me with his umbrella.. he raises his hand so that the umbrella does not hit my head and he shelters me across the next three traffic lights.. he is about primary three and goes to a church at bukit panjang.. he wears spectacles and hearing aids on both ears, a child of God, and an angel to me.. thank you Lord for always sending your angels to take care of me..

painted hands and wrinkled fingers.. makes it worth that while to see your happy faces.. it was my first time doing hydro therapy today.. and it was an enriching experience.. some were screaming, some were kicking and others just plain scared.. but they all loved one thing, holding on to someone when they were in the water.. i wish you could have seen them too..

thanks for the great job i'm having now.. i am truly thankful..

had dinner with shuwen today.. it's great that we now live so close.. and it's like time has not changed the friendship we have.. i am so thankful for a friend like you.. for all the silly things we did in our school days like having breakfast with terrence and steph during morning lectures, and going out for lunch at stone grill, then playing ticket to ride at minds.. haha.. unforgettable.. and sweet.. the only memories of school days that we will treasure and remember, doing the things that we aren't supposed to do.. glad to hear that you're having a lot of fun in aussie.. someday i'll go over.. and we'll watch a race together..

hope the picture turns out nice..

i came but you were gone.. i heard you changed, but to me you never did.. i hope you are fine, because i don't know when i will have the opportunity to see you.. or maybe you are still a call away as you used to be.. didn't really expect something like this to happen.. i thought we never grew up.. i wished we didn't grow up.. but we had to.. and everything had to happen.. i hope you make it wherever you are.. maybe someday you could invite me over and we could talk like we did so much when we were younger.. i remember you telling me that things were better than before.. you spoke as if things at home were really working out for the better.. i will always remember the smile you always had on.. i pray that the Lord keeps you safe and in His grace always..

if there was anything i wished for you to know, well i believe that your parents did the best they could for you.. mine did their best too.. but it's everybody's first time being parents..

yesterday night was lovely.. since i left, some things have happened.. some people have been broken.. wish i could have been there for you..

met daryl tan at carls junior.. seem to see him quite often when i'm in town.. which is a rare occation.. and still i see him quite a lot..

i saw xueling too.. knew her since i was in secondary school.. just remember ben telling me a few months back that she was going to get married at the end of the year.. so i asked.. and her wedding is next week! those words were sweet.. it is such a joy to bump into an old friend who is preparing for the happiest moment of her life.. and i could see that when she was talking, her emotions were running quite high.. the feeling is so indescribable, it's like excitement, joy, adrenaline and quiet love all at once.. it's like seeing a friend become a wife.. God bless you both melvin and xueling.. wonder when i'll ever see her again.. maybe by that next time, she'll have a child by then.. that'll be sweet.. and me? where would i be?

and i thought of you again.. sometimes thinking of you haunts me.. because i hope you are alright.. i remember all the talks we had before and after cell.. all the things you went through.. all the things i said to you.. i wonder where you went when i left.. when i tried to look for you, your number changed.. and i waited.. and i saw you once in town.. for just a brief moment.. and i wish it was more than that.. because i wanted to say so much more than the 2 lines i said that night.. still.. i hope you found the way back home.. may God watch over you huiyi..

thanks for the walk and the talks liang.. the coffee and the lights.. the memories and the dreams..

i met my secondary school friend, alex, on the bus 2 days ago.. so wonderful to see a warm familiar face.. we had so much more to talk after going our seperate ways after secondary school.. today i saw angie, who was from cj, at a bus stop which my bus passed by.. i saw samuel from church in town too..

yesterday was a wonderful day.. haha.. everything clicked.. thanks be to God who has placed the 2 wonderful brothers in my life, liang and daniel.. daniel didn't seem to lose anything.. in fact, he is getting really sharp.. some things i did surprised myself too.. haha.. i'm sure liang knows what i'm talking about.. everything just sounded as fresh as ever.. many things have changed for the better.. but i dont want to wait another half a year to play again..

me and liang took a bus to town for a cup of coffee after the jam.. it was a relaxing hour just watching the world passing by, talking about music and the future.. guess who we saw on the way.. minning! haha.. who was with her family.. singapore is a small city.. i like it that way..

i have been busy at work lately.. yet i am so grateful for my Heavenly Father who watches over me.. firstly, 2 weeks ago, an officer fetched me from my office in old p.a. to cda (which is near ntu by the way).. and a few days later, he fetched me back.. next, officers have been offering to fetch me to cda from old pa.. twice already.. one even offered to wait for me to fetch me back today.. and that is really goodness.. because the trip by bus takes one and a half hours.. and if i go from home, its a 2 hour long journey.. 

God is good, because He is God, He is in control.. and He is good.. halellujah!